Sunday, September 27, 2009

SRK Vs Mammootty….. Irfan Khan Vs Srinivasan….

Incomparable.. They are no equals to compare… Recently saw Billu Barber. SRK and IK have given their best shot… Is it so???... A bold NO will be the answer if you have seen the originals of this movie in Malayalam “Kadhaparayumbol”. Mammotty will scintillate your senses with his hysterics in the last 10 minutes; SRK’s goatee gimmicks made me laugh; and Irfan Khan’s face seems to be devoid of any emotions other than a blank awe. These people should be put in tuition classes under the masters of acting. They can select from a plethora of pioneers like; the lot of Amithabh, Om puri, Nasurudeen shah, Mohanlal, Thilakan……. Left blank for you to fill it up….

Pity on Priyadarsan; He has now become a copy master; who has excelled in the art of stealing comic scenes; and sequencing it in the most absurd ways. His brain is clogged with beauty babes so that he can’t be anymore creative at his work.

Sherlock Holmes on Paul M George Muthoot

I had been on a vacation in India; this September; when I chanced to meet Jabal; the old friend of ours whom the readers are already acquainted with; on a houseboat journey through the calm waters of The Lake Vembanad. We were talking about the new adventures of Sherlock Holmes and suddenly he narrated me the gruesome story and the mysteries which veiled the police enquiry into the murder of the young business man Paul M Muthoot. The story interested me by virtue of its unique nature; the celebrity status of the accused and the concocted police version of the events which led to the murder. I called Mr. Holmes; who was then goading away the boredom from inaction. I could sense his eagerness when he scented of the chance to twist his brain.

“Hellowa Watson; Thank you for bringing me work; but I doubt of my direct involvement; lest; I miss out the trial of the sensational BoA robbery”.

“Oh boy; I forgot”

“Never mind Watson; you know of my investigating ways; and you not a naive”. “You can help me; remember; approach the case systematically; don’t let anything miss out; get me all the information however minutely it s related to the case. Don’t forget to have a close look on any beneficiaries due to this death”

Reluctantly I took up the task and started off by collecting all the pieces of news which came up in the news papers. Then I met up with the witnesses and collected their account of the crime. I had opportunity to collect the string of incidents from the police as well. After a stint with the investigation I flew back and shared the information with Holmes.

After hearing my narration he suddenly got buried in deep thought. At occasions he noted down some points on his notebook; and after a while he broke the silence.

“Watson; you mentioned of a ladies bag and the identity cards of the famous goons found from the car”.

“Yes; rightly so; but the police omitted the bag from their official reports”.

“But; did you verify the truth”.

“I had chance to see a photograph taken through the rolled up window of the car; which shows clearly a ladies bag by the back seat”.

“Alright; but still ambiguities; Did you ascertain the amount of blood stains on the car.”

“Yes; it appeared to me as if it got spread from the stained hands; no stains from a pool of blood.”

“Okay; taken; but what did you say of your narration that the Endeavour car was parked on the side when the group of goons met with them. It’s foolish to stop by; when you are on a run after hitting down someone.”

“Out of sync”

He advised me to contact jabal and find out the service history of the Endeavour car and to find out from the local acquaintances of Mr. Muthoot about his relationship with any women of high social status. Holmes was forming various theories about the murder and this was evident from the amount of tobacco he was fuming out. It was apparent from his frowning that he was not convinced with some facts. Not so late; came the questions about the engagement; changed to marriage of the Home minister son; and the squeaky utterances from the party secretary against the media. He also questioned me about the rumors that the police had created evidence by implanting the “S” shaped dagger on the culprit’s house. After getting satisfactory reply from me; he asked me to check back on the leads which would have been collected by jabal. He then went out for an evening walk and told me that the case was closed unless for certain loose threads in his theory. When he returned I conveyed the leads given by jabal. He asked me to be ready by dinner to close this case. So I went all prepared with my note book to the dinner table.

He started by saying that case was very trivial unless for the efforts by the police to hide some related facts. The deceased had close relation with the celebrity goons Omprakash and Rajesh; and they casually visited him when they had been in kerala as part of their friend’s marriage; who happened to be the son of Home minister. A famous lady whose face was well known to the populace; due to her fame in local cinema; was part of the entourage. They enjoyed their time in the backwaters; the sea and in the resort rooms; where paul joined them. And in their journey on that ill-fated night in the ford endeavor the crew had stopped on their way to refresh in a petrol pump at the 4th mile on the AC road; where the local goons had a glimpse at the beauty on board. They started following the ford endeavour. But sensing that they were being followed; paul and party started panicking. In their effort to speed up they hit down a bike on their way; but soon later due to a glitch in the car the Endeavor got stopped on the way. This glitch was confirmed from the service records obtained by jabal; which says that the car was being serviced for overheating due to seepage of engine oil in the coolant. The service record also suggests that even though the problem was attended the cause was not rectified. This would explain the reason for the stoppage of the car midway. The gang of goons approached them and the abuses from the gang would have resulted in some sort of heated altercation; which resulted in the stabbing. All of them came to their senses and would have fled. Injured paul and the other person was taken to the hospital by paul’s driver who was following them. The lady got scared of the ugly publicity which this incident would bring and alerted “The influential” who then worked on the story to make an escape route for the lady. The influential then instructed the celebrity goons to escape with the lady. They started their run in the cooled off Endeavor car; but to be stopped again due to overheating almost 100 kms from the incident site. The influential orders the celebrity goons to drop in their identity cards so that the investigation officers would not dig deep into finding out the whereabouts of those in the car; but did all to hide the famous lady. But while hurrying out the lady forgot to take away her bag; which was later smuggled away by the influential person; and thus missing from the police records.

The case was closed here. But I wondered on how Holmes was so convinced. Holmes explained that if there was a conspiracy; they could have thousand other ways to kill him. And all these could have done with razor sharp perfection. No body would ever venture to kill someone with so many people or witnesses around. But here the murder was done on a highway with so many culprits around; which itself explains the lack of planning or conspiracy. And it was so evident that the full effort was to hide the ladies bag. The only difficulty was to explain for the uncharacteristic stoppage of the car after being on a run.

“But Holmes; you owe an explanation for the forged evidence of the “S” shaped dagger”

“This is very common; the investigators often get the confession from the culprits; when probe further on situational proofs; but this will not stand in the court of law; for which they try to retrieve the factual proofs or in its failure they themselves make these proofs. This is quite natural.”

“And who could be that “the influential” in your theory”

“He could be the one who is evidently the most upset; the one; who for no reason blames every other including media for this murder”

“Hmmm. Holmes; who could be that lady”

“Out of the little we know; it could be someone whose name or pet name starts with ”S” and probably the initial could also be “S”; we will leave these clue to the public to find out the rest”

“But what could be the motive behind this protectionism”

“Watson; All my concentration till day have been on crime and investigation; hence; I haven’t known a lady intimately”

Tuesday, April 22, 2008

Pause pls.....

Why so haste. Take a pause. Enjoy your surroundings; the passers-by; the plush green around; the birds; the rivers; the buildings; the mountains... Hear what I say...Dont have time to smile at me... Where you heading... God has put you in midst of all the fun; all the beauty and in a crowd of fellow beings. But you dont have time for any of these; you think of yourselves; your gain; your profits and you rush to make the most of it. You work overtime to get a fat salary; you slog for your employers better results; companies stress out for extra-ordinary growth rate; your country boasts of 9+ GDP growth. What for !. To regret at your last hours; of not getting enough time with your loved ones; of not spending enough time at your favorite village; of not kissing your love passionately enough; of not living at all.... Money is needed, wealth is required but it is not as necessary as your life itself... Live Life; Live slowly; Live long;

Friday, April 18, 2008


All the incidents, characters, monuments and time frame used in this short story are real. This is an extract from 'Jabal Kumar- An introspection'.


It was some 20 years back, Rajiv gandhi was ruling the country aided with the consummate advice of sam petroda, who was later known to public as the man behind the telecommunication revolution in India. This preamble doesn't in any minutest way relate to our story or to our hero.
This happened in holy cross high school, which was then under Sr. Olivia. I was a small child, studying in the 1st standard. I know for sure, my parents had a terrible experience sending me to school. Early morning at 8.30 Gopi chettans van would come and I still remember how threatening that horn was. From the time when I woke up I used to pray for only one thing, a puncture to gopi chettans van. I wouldn't have complained if the god had listened to me at least once. Every day that piercing sound of his horn would startle me from my prayers.

ദാറ്റ് day also the same thing happened. My mother with utmost difficulty pushed me into the van, where one guy with a broad moustache was sitting at the door; he was Gopi chettans aid Vijayan Chettan. The van was filled with an air of joy. I found hardly two children who were weeping. One was Jose Zacharia and the other, a girl who was studying in the B class. All others were visibly happy. The door closed, the van gained speed and that fairly common song broke the silence. I don't know how many of you still remember those songs. Anyway read through എnd those lines will rekindle your memories.

"ചകോ മറിയ തല്ലുന്നീ നാട്ടാരെല്ലാം ഓടി വരുന്നേ തല്ലിക്കോ തല്ലിക്കോ ചക്കൊച്ച മരിയമ്മേ തല്ലിക്കോ ചച്കൊച്ച."

I kept aside my sadness and allowed myself to immerse in that electrifying environment. The van went past cheruvandoor and peroor and finally reached HCHS. I entered the school compound with the usual expectation "A heart attack to Sr. oliva and a holiday to the school". Disgusting, that day also it didn't happen. I walked past those dense canopies of mango trees, ran down the steps and entered the verandah. My hope then had shifted to Elsamma teacher being absent. Oh heck! Lot of noise from the class, teacher not there, but still there was time for the class to start. My face brightened and the probability of elsamma teacher being absent grew large. I entered the class, walked beside the front row. Surely, that wasn't my place. I liked the back rows and till now that strong affinity to the last rows hasn't changed. There will be a lot of fun in last rows unlike the front rows where the ones like Irin, Midhun, Nisha, Melgev, Renjini, Sunitha, Maria etc would sit. I took the aisle in the middle, shook hands with Dinu raj in the middle row, said hi to Manju and straightened the way to my destination, the penultimate row. There was always some strategic advantage in taking the penultimate row; the teacher in her usual stroll through the backside wouldn't be able to pluck your ears. 'Intelligent', one might think, but that was only the usual me.

I took my seat, the center position on the right hand side, second from the last bench, beside the window. I dismantled the sophisticated bag from my back and water bottle from my neck. I looked outside; it was going to rain in that morning itself. Kerala was a beautiful place at that time, with plenty of rain and the monsoons 'on time', never late. I thought of the water blockage in the six-foot wide front portion of the school directly after the verandah. I was fond of playing in the water, not only me but almost every boy child in that class liked to splash the muddy water around. I was planning a nice time during the interval.

An utterance 'EDA' from him woke me from my thoughts. He was absent, the day before. I was happy to find him that day because he was a regular backbencher and a good mate of mine. He was a naughty boy, probably the most troublesome in the class. Always chatter while the class goes on, he loves to sit on the desk rather than on the bench. He looked like a small rogue in navy blue and white uniform. Brownish in colour, round face, wide forehead, thick black hair, small sharp nose and broad wide lips were his countenance. He sat beside me to my left and he took out a box from his bag and showed some sticker labels he had got the previous day. One a mayavi label, a kottooosan label, a luttappi one and many more. He was kind enough to present me with one kottooosan label, which I preserved for quite a lot of time in his remembrance.

He took some previous days notes from me and started copying it. I asked him why he was absent the previous day. He replied in a sharp piercing tone "diarrhea". Till that date I had only heard about 'diary'. I wondered what the hell this relation between his absence and diary was. I knew the progress card in those days was in the form of a diary and we all used to refer it as diary. Had it a month earlier I could have suspected some doctoring on his diary by him which his parents might have caught. Then I thought that he had theft the diary from the class teacher. No, how can that happen, if happened how could that prevent him from being present. Thoughts widened but I couldn't get a clear picture of what was the reason for his absence. I asked again. That time he evaded from answering and I couldn't clarify it for the whole day.

Later in the evening I asked my mother, in what all ways could diary prevent one from attending the class? Ha ha ha ha…….. She clarified it and from that day onwards I started calling him ഡയറി'എ' മോന്‍ മണി.

By …………
Jabal Kumar……………

Yours truly, His Apparition

Helloonnnnnnnn, I am deputed to write of his small expectations, I am his apparition, his ghost, his spirit, his conscience, what ever, but I am him itself. I heard him being asked of his expectations. I shall give you the true, unadulterated, unabridged, thoughts/ dreams of his. Let me just start by boasting about him, he is very bold, he stands by his words, what ever the consequences are, very straight forward…and above all he has a good heart.. Boasting ends here…..I know him from the time he was born. I was with him all through these years. I know what he wants..

Of his wife he would definitely weigh her virginity, commitment, love and sincerity the most. I know that there is no chance by which he could gauge her in these, before he makes a commitment, because he knows her not.. But it's his belief that she is all these. It's the holy secrets of the nature, the holiness of the god, which makes him believe that she is these all..

Ohh.. Where is he now…My vision gets paralyzed.. My thoughts get blurred.. Oh he is dreaming.. he is in his sleep now.. Oh I see him by the side of his wife, kissing her forehead, he tries to explain his coming late, its very hard to convince her, she so intelligent, she questions him, probes him, gazes at him, she catches him red handed, of his little mischief's, his little bad habits. She so commanding, so convincing that she makes him throw his entire defense and makes him such an obedient and disciplined lovely, naughty, rogue.

Oh he still in his slumber, he still in his dream. I see him beside his wife; he so intently, so tenderly, so lovely watches her suckling their little baby. She loves her baby more than him,, It makes him more happy. She teaches her baby the Christian thoughts, the values, the truth, and makes such beautiful adobe for the little one to grow.. She cooks their food in love. Oh what beautiful a sight is it… Caring, devoted, friendly…She is the best mother I have ever seen…..

He draws his inspiration from her. She makes him work hard for his dreams, his ambitions.. Often he stumbles, he gets hurt, he wreathed in pain, he in deep sorrows.. He cries aloud.. There she not stunned by his agony; Offers her bosom for him to weep... She by her magical love fetches him from the abysses of life… Whole world ditches him, but her still in his side…. Oh such a lovely wife. .

No wonder he considers her the most priceless possession of his.

All these he dreams…he expects…he wishes…..He knows very well that expectations are hard to meet, and even a singleton among his expectations come true will make him happy. The happiest…I swear… I assure…I endorse…

Yours truly,

His Apparition…

Jabal introduced

Let us not forget the fact that this person is one amongst us. He is a paunchy, cranky, young man with lot of nonsense and little of common sense. He is dramatic at some occations and arrogant at some other. The strong affinity to short plays have left its own mark on his mannerisms. He can talk to you in length about anything which falls under the category "preposterous".
Pale brownish in colour, rampant black hair, sharp black eyes, neatly cut moustache and broad lips are his countenance. If a geometrical shape can be assigned to his face, it would probably be an oval. Because of his energetic dramatic conversations he is able to make many friends. Needless to say, some friendships have put him in difficult situations. His nature usually doesn't allow him to maneouver these situations, instead he drags others also into those predicaments. "BEWARE"

This incident which forms the part of this story happenend during last week. Our protagonist was undergoing an Ayurvedic treatment, which is usually done early in the morning at the traditional doctors place, which would be crowded even before a speck of the sun is seen. Our hero during these days would start from house early morning at 5 O' clock. The first two days of this treatment or rather his wait outside the doctors premises wasn't fruitful at all. All the other persons would either be sleeping or reading, nobody cared to atleast give him a glance. He couldn't find a single prey in those two days.

So on the third day he carried a book with him, which he did for the sole purpose of attracting a prey. The trick worked and an innocent looking person fell flat on his trap. But our poor hero didn't know his prey's credentials of luring many beautiful looking men and women into the community, which is notorious for its ways of attracting members.

The first day of their meeting went on without any developments that are worth writing. Our hero might have got many phone calls which the members of this community practised as aroutine to stay close with thier potential members. This is anyway not much probed because of its minutest implication to the cause of this acquaintance.

On that weekend this friend made a sudden, surprise visit to our hero's place. He with little effort unwound his lexicon of knowledge upon our hero, who was spell bound by the engineering knowledge of this "infosysian". The just concluded sentences will surely raise a couple or two eyebrows, which is justifiable because our hero ia as novel to the engineering concepts as a duckling to the mountain stream. The visitor concluded his words by hinting to an "intellectuals meet", which our hero mistook as the kind of one in the "Da Vinci Code" and in the "the angels and demons".

Our hero was informed about the venue and the timing of the next intellectuals meet, which is believed to have happened at some bizzare location, which is usually not disclosed to non members. The story couldn't have changed if the venue was somewhere else, so let us not go astray, but concenterate more on what has actually happened at the meet. The venue was crowded with limosines of the indian make, MUV's, SUV's, UV's and what not. The glitteratti of bangalore city was off on their toes. Our hero felt previlaged to be in that crowd, even though he had to pay a registration fees of 1000 bucks. He was introduced to some persons who are believed to be part of the top echelons of the city.

He might have dreamt about boasting to his roommates about his new experiences and his new stature in the society, which were aliens to them. He might have thanked his new friend for introducing him to this new community. With an air of proudness he entered the hall, which was almost full. He found a seat and rested his buttress upon it, when he heard an IITian lecturing about various ways of making money. His interest in that speech grew moment by moment till he heard that utterance"Amway". He was speechless, his face reddened with anger, not because of the thought about the lost 1000 bucks, but because of the fact that he was fooled the second time. It has not been an year since he had bought a "Conibio" underwear, which the network marketer claimed would reduce the paunch if used regularly with out washing. He worn it continouously in an ambitious attempt to become slim, till his room mates complained about the stink. He took it to a wash only to find that it was torn all over with the moderate pressure of the rinse. That day he decided not to fall prey to any other network marketer. But now all in vain. he is fooled the second time. But this distinction won't last long because Mr. Jabal is still alive to be fooled the third time.